I Worked in A Swingers Club for Two Years

There was a lot of thought put into if I wanted to post this piece. It may be 2018 but the taboo over certain things still lingers around all of us. I'm here wondering what my current job, future jobs etc. will think if they were to read this piece. It's strange that although you worked somewhere and did not actually participate in the activities - the more conservative types would definitely feel uncomfortable with my previous work space. 

While trying to get my degree at the University of Toronto, I worked many jobs. Living in the downtown core is a bitch because well, rent. Rent is hiiiiigh. I was going to school full time, trying to get good grades and at any given point was working at least 2-3 jobs. I was bouncing at Bier Markt or at Crocodile Rock or at the Rockpile. I was part-time at Foot Locker. Then, I also became security at a swingers club. 

The thing that attracts you to bouncing is getting paid cash, plus, with school during the week - nighttime work on weekends is bless. Unfortunately, with bouncing comes certain dangers and an overall possibility of physical harm at any given moment. 

I had written about my experience going to Hedonism in Jamaica and after returning from that trip I had seen an opening to work as a bartender at a swingers club near where I lived. Perfect! I am cute, I know customer service, this is close, I get along with swingers just fine. Yessss.

Well, I was a really shitty bartender. My short-term memory is awful and the idea of talking to people without being able to leave bothers me. This swingers club became more and more busy and with the popularity of their 'singles night' there was security needed. Finally, MY TIME TO SHINE.

Those dangers I had mentioned earlier with bouncing were not a thing at the swingers club. Not at all. In two years of working there, I never once felt unsafe. Let me tell you, naked people don't want to fight anyone. Think about the logistics of the situation. Would you, fully unclothed, want to risk the chance of being tossed out on Jarvis St. like that? Unlikely. 

I loved working there. I could socialize, make sure everyone was having a safe and fun time - plus EVERY bouncer has incredible industry stories but I feel like with two years at the swingers club, mine definitely are a little wilder.

People have misconceptions about what happens at swingers clubs. I use to get a range of questions like;

Do you have to have sex there? - No, forcing someone to have sex is absolutely never a thing. It's more of a 'choose your own adventure' like a Goosebumps books. Most of the patrons were either nudists or maybe wanted to go swimming and get no tan lines. No one forces you to do anything in there that you don't want to do.

What do you mean people have sex there? - Uh, yeah?

Will there be hoes? - N/A

Is it clean? - There are sanitary wipes everywhere along with towels that literally EVERYONE lays down before proceeding to get into any fornicating. 

Does your mother know you do this? - Yes, she knew the whole time. In fact she came to the swingers club during the day once to see what it looked like and make sure I was in a safe space.

I bet only weirdos and gross people go there right? - From judges, to police officers, to housewives, R&B stars, you name it - we had them. I'm not sure what folks consider weird.

If I pay cover, will I get a girl? - Go to a brothel fam, this is NOT one of those.

There are so many wild interpretations of what goes on at swingers clubs that at one point I had made a video to explain what to do and NOT do in there on YouTube. It got so many views, but then I took it down because I always thought having worked there other employers wouldn't hire me in the future. 

Maybe my paranoia is accurate and maybe it isn't. At one of my other security jobs a coworker had told me, "Make sure no one here learns you worked at a swingers club, they'll think you're a whore." Dead serious. A man really said that to my face. Comments like that hit pretty hard because although that person might just be a jackass who deserved the wickedest uppercut, maybe he isn't alone in his thinking. 

I don't ever regret working at a swingers club. I learned a lot there about human interaction and relationships overall. My coworkers were amazing, the patrons were awesome and I got to make money for my schooling. Because guess what? Yes, many college and university students take on WHATEVER jobs they can get to make money to afford the high cost of schooling and overall high living costs in the city. Also, I think while working there and regularly tweeting about it, some younger people took a leap and went to check it out as well. Anyone who has been to a swingers club will tell you the demographic is more people in their 40s-50s-60s. I'd like to think that when I was educating and telling more people in their 20s about it, they became interested and checked it out too. Because the answer to most things in life is educating people instead of judging them, so they are no longer ignorant to whatever the topic may be.

So here I am, telling you I worked in a swingers club for two years. Make what you want of it - just know I am definitely not ashamed. And if you ever have questions about going to one, my DMs on Twitter are always open to discussion. 

- Mirna