I turn 31 tomorrow. December 16.
I really looked forward to turning 30 last year, I thought it would come with some cool experiences and insta-maturity or some shit. False.
My first year of being in my 30s was a never ending hodgepodge of people around me being weird or disappointing. From the moment I turned 30 in 2016, people began to show either true colours or new colours, I'm unsure yet. I'm unsure about a lot.
I enter my second year of my 30s in a constant state of unsure.
I'm unsure where a lot of my relationships in the past year took a nosedive. I'm unsure what my job will be by the end of 2018 because alas, I am still working in a contract position. I'm unsure what many peoples true feelings about me even are. I don't know if I hit 30 and magically some filter came off my brain and I was better-able to see people as they are or folks just took their masks off.
Fortunately, with the unsure came the ABSOLUTELY SURE as well.
I am absolutely sure I love my closest friends who stay by my side and talk/walk/cuss me through everything.
I am absolutely sure my parents are still the coolest humans on the planet.
I am absolutely sure that travel is the love of my life and I will continue to foster that love.
Also, I am absolutely sure my boyfriend is one of the most incredible people I have ever met and I enjoy being with him.
Feels like a constant imbalance in my life when there are such polarizing parts in it. Feels like I only live in absolutes sometimes, there's never a middle in anything I do or anyway I feel about situations or people.
30 was equally rough as it was okayish sometimes.
I was fortunate to turn 30 while in Bali, the year started out amazing and I did travel with Mark to Chicago, I did have the most incredible time with Jummy in Barbados and my upcoming trip to the Maldives with Sherry will be epic.
Not sure if I accomplished anything in my 30th year of life but I'm still here and I'm suuuuuper cute. (and clearly, still have a very high opinion of myself)
Wait. There is something I am really proud of in the past year; I got much better at basketball! When I played my first game I was wheezing and felt like I would die in a corner, now I'm basically a superstar scoring anywhere between 1 and 13 points in a game. Yay.
Genuinely hope all the weird stuff and negativity of 2017 remains there. Last thing I want is more difficult lessons in my next year of life transpiring from the oddities of this year. Always amazing how around your birthday or the holidays people show their asses right?
Hopefully, in my 31st year I also quit working so much and just accept that relaxing is a completely normal concept that other humans do.....maybe.
I would give my 30th year of life a grade of B- overall.
Not good enough to get into a Masters program at U of T but still doing better than a lot of people.
Here's to 31 being better!